Divorce Is Not a Failure

It’s easy to think of divorce as failure in your life. You made the lifelong commitment and you weren’t able to stick to, so you failed… right? We do learn our most important life lessons from the big mistakes. However, for someone reason we forget to see divorce as a stepping stone to something better (like we would with an ended career,...

Divorcing a High Conflict Personality

Therapists are trained to help you become self-aware and self-confident when struggling through a divorce. Once you are self-aware, you can begin to find the right career, the right mate and the right track for your life. However, this is a “typical” scenario. And most people don’t understand that this type of therapy can actually make it very difficult...

Online Dating Post-Divorce

This is a guest post by Dr. Karen Finn. ….. Dating after divorce can be confusing. After all, it’s probably been a while since you last dated and things have CHANGED since then. One of the biggest changes in dating over the last 10-15 years is the number of people who use online dating services. Did you know there are even websites dedicated to...

Three Scenarios Where You Should Consider Hiring a Child Custody Expert

In divorce cases with contested child custody issues, a child custody expert may be a powerful tool to help the Courts and the Parents protect the children and develop a parenting plan that is in their best interests. You may wish to discuss the possibility of retaining a child custody expert with your divorce lawyer in one of the following three scenarios: 1....

Managing Your Divorce

A divorce or separation is traumatic. There is no denying that it is one of the most difficult things you may ever go through, and your friends and family members may suffer as well. But, there are ways to limit the stress and disastrous effects of divorce. Author Leo Averbach offers the following tips we think are useful to keep yourself in check during the...

Divorce Advice for Women and Children

Divorce is a difficult experience to go through, especially for women and children.  A sensitive issue like divorce is a lot to handle for women and children, who are emotionally inclined.  Some advice from Legal-yogi.com can be a helpful resource to ease the sudden instability of your marriage. One crucial piece of advice is to find a trustworthy divorce...

Your Friend’s Divorcing, Will That Affect Your Marriage?

California Divorce News: Have you every known “the perfect couple?” I’m talking about the couple that always seems happy, seems to have it all together and makes every other couple around them jealous? Well if the that couple divorces, it sends everyone in a whirlwind. If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about. People start...

Is Your Next Marriage Destined for Divorce?

California Family Law Article: Divorce statistics from Divorcesource.com show that an increasing number of remarriages end up in divorce.  A first marriage has a 40%-50% divorce rate whereas a second marriage divorce rate rises to 60%-67% and a third marriage increases to a 70%-73% divorce rate.  Remember, these are only statistics of a cumulative whole and...

How to Breakup Like a Gentleman

Orange County Divorce Attorney Topics: Men’s Health recently wrote an article about how to break up. We thought it was interesting because we know that the way someone chooses to end a marriage, divorce or separate, can have a substantial affect on the divorce or separation process. Here are the tips: Don’t be the victim. You may have gotten played...

Handling Divorce

Jonathan West, head of Family and Matrimonal at City law firm Prolegal Limited, examines the stress of going through a separation and gives great pointers for people who are new to this life changing situation.  He understands that there are different aspects to life that are going to change dramatically but points out that a regular routine is your best option...

Divorce Party

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… ….. We do a lot of celebrating to commemorate important milestones in life.  We celebrate births with birthdays.  We celebrate completion of educational milestones with graduations.  We celebrate marriages with weddings and showers and engagement parties.  We even celebrate a person’s life after their gone...

Parenting: Plans for Divorce

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner: ……… What is a “parenting plan” during a divorce? A parenting plan contains the decisions about who is going to have the children on which dates and at what time. Children need to know when they will get to see their Mom and when they will get to spend time with Dad. In addition, parents will...

Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements

In the United States, 50% of the people who marry will get divorced.  In 2013, California has been surveyed to have a 75% divorce rate.  The rising divorce rate has become a catalyst for the rising number of couples getting prenuptial and postnuptial agreements.  A 2012 Harris Interactive Poll showed that 44% of singles and 49% of divorcees have thought of...

The Rust of Life and Divorce

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn ….. Last week, one of my dear friends sent me a message.  He sends messages just about every day to his friends to inspire and comfort.  Jon’s one of those guys with a really big heart who knows how to make sure his friends really feel how much he cares for them. This one message he sent to me last week really got...

Tips for Dads: Child Custody

Men and women have different struggles with child custody during a divorce or separation. Most men know the amount of time they wish to spend with their children, but they’re not aware of the many different types of custody and issues related to them. In fact, some men use the term “custody” to refer to anything related to the children in a...

Divorce Finance – What You Should Be Prepared For

There are a few financial complications when divorcing your spouse.  You should be correctly informed about your filing status as well as your exemptions and deductions when preparing for the tax season.  First, you have to understand that the marital status for tax filing is set as of the last day of the year (December 31).  According to the IRS, you are...

Letting Go

Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining, but do you ever see yourself carrying those emotions after the divorce finalizes? From sadness to anger to frustration, you begin to question the integrity of your marriage.  More importantly, you need to start questioning yourself.  Explore what role you played in your marriage and how you contributed to...

What Will Children Remember About Your Divorce?

You may think that young children will not remember their parents going through a divorce. However, Erin Mantz recently shared a different insight in a HuffPost Divorce article we thought we’d discuss here. Mantz states that divorce mostly affects those under five years of age.  Due to the change to family structure, kids are more likely to develop...

Flexibility: It’s About More Than Just Muscles

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: ……. Life changes a lot when you separate and divorce. Things that used to be a regular part of life just aren’t anymore. And when things change in unexpected ways, we can get scared, frustrated and angry. When clients begin working with me, they’re usually experiencing some combination of fear,...

Who Keeps the Pet?

Pet custody is proven to be a great hurdle for couples heading to divorce. In the United States, it is common law that animals are considered personal property. Animals face the discrimination similar to Africans and women in the 17th century with their status as property.  Their exertion of rights was a difficult battle when all they were worth was a monetary...

Children and Divorce: Commonly Asked Questions

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner:   When do we tell our children we’re divorcing? It’s important to make sure that the decision to divorce is final before telling your children about the divorce.  The mistake that some people make is to tell their children they’re going to get a divorce when they’re not sure the divorce will...

Back to the Nest Post-Divorce

January is a common month for divorce. The new year leads people to start taking control of their life and their happiness, and that results in divorce for many couples. Young adults that split often run home to Mom and Dad for a period of time. It’s actually estimated that a third of homeowners are welcoming their adult children back into their home....

Small, Simple Things Can Make a BIG Difference

On Wednesday last week, I had a busy day planned.  I had a breakfast meeting in one part of town immediately followed by a one-on-one meeting and a luncheon in a completely different part of town.  Then I needed to head back to my office for a call with my coach and to get some other tasks done before heading out for my dinner plans. My day got even busier...

How do you rebuild when your relationship ends?

Guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner: One of the most helpful pieces of information I got while going through my own divorce was to LEARN from my previous relationships.  There is no such thing as failure in relationships, only lessons that you haven’t learned yet.  You CAN create a new life, a new chapter, and new relationships filled with love, potential,...

My Beliefs Get in the Way

One of the ways I market my business is to attend networking events.  In early spring 2011, I attended an event where the featured speaker was a woman named Cricket Lee.  Cricket spoke about how she had spent years researching and testing to perfect pant fit for women.  She had a great story about her work and I chose to support her by ordering a pair of...

Men: How to Fail at Dating Post-Divorce

Dating is a challenge. “Back in the day” it was tough just to find the right girl at the party to talk to and say the right thing to start a conversation. The college days of dating were hard enough, but unfortunately it’s even harder later in life… especially after you’ve already been married once. Many divorcees feel clueless...

Divorce: How to Break It to Your Children

Divorce rates are at an all-time high in California with numbers rising in Los Angeles and Orange County.  Where there are more marriages going through divorces, there are more children brought onto the emotional rollercoaster. Our best advice for parents in this situation is to have the children always understand they are unconditionally loved and they are not...

Cutting the Cords After Divorce

An attorney may be able to cut all legal ties to your spouse, but no one can cut the emotional ties for you. Getting over your ex husband or wife can be an enormous challenge. Your ex may already have moved on completely, but that doesn’t mean you have. Author and relationship coach Virginia Clark recently shared her thoughts on moving past a relationship...

Maintaining Your Relationship with Your Adult Children

Professional Counselor Katie Saint wrote an article earlier this year about how to rebuild relationships with adult children post-divorce. According to the AARP, divorce for people over the age of 50 has nearly doubled since the 1990’s. Adult children take the news harder than one might think. Many of them question how their parents’ relationship...

When Will I Stop Hurting So Much?

Loneliness is one of the first most painful emotions to appear when you get divorced. Even if you were lonely in your marriage, it’s just somehow different when you are living alone. (Yes, this is true even if your children are living with you.) The ways that people express loneliness are unique to each person.  You might be like a hermit crab and...

Manage Your Emotions Through Divorce

Riding the Ride: How to Recognize and Manage Your Emotions Through Divorce Some decisions are really easy to make – What will I have for breakfast? What TV show do I want to watch? What time do I need to get up in the morning? Other decisions, like whether or not divorce is the correct path for you to take, can be agonizing. Let’s begin by focusing on the...

Stop Scaring Yourself!

Here is the first guest post from one of our favorite divorce coaches- Karen Finn, Ph.D. I’ll start by telling you a couple of horror stories I told myself when I was getting divorced. The first story is the everyday story. The second is the special event story. I’ll start with the everyday story. I started telling myself various versions of this story...

How to Recognize and Manage Your Emotions Through Divorce

Some decisions are really easy to make – What will I have for breakfast? What TV show do I want to watch? What time do I need to get up in the morning? Other decisions, like whether or not divorce is the correct path for you to take, can be agonizing. Let’s begin by focusing on the person who is contemplating whether or not to divorce – the...