An important factor to a successful marriage is support. Support brings husband and wife closer together. It nurtures the feelings of appreciation and love between one another. By showing your support, your spouse will feel that his/her needs are communicated effectively throughout your marriage. However, if that support is not present in your marriage, issues will surface and cause both you and your spouse to feel unappreciated. Monique Honaman, author of The High Road Has Less Traffic: honest advice on the path through love and divorce, dissects this dialogue between man and wife to understand what really makes either spouse reach a breaking point.
If either husband or wife is feeling that his/her needs are not being met, a cycle of bad communication will continue to get worse. When a woman sees her husband failing to meet her expectations, her innate reaction will be to nag. Enough nagging will lead to deep feelings of disconnect and personal sadness. She will feel exhausted constantly looking for appreciation and value in her relationship and will ultimately look into divorce. On the other hand, men are under the impression that his wife wants to do everything herself because she has a certain vision in mind. She will nag if what he does is not “right” or if it does not meet her expectations. A husband oftentimes will feel the nagging of his wife causes him to feel unappreciated. The miscommunication between husband and wife will cause resentment and tension. Unfortunately, many couples decide to file for divorce based on this miscommunication. The truth is that men and women accept appreciation and support differently. It is the job of both husband and wife to communicate with each other often and show support for the other.
Honaman concludes that while ceasing the nagging will help save marriages, it is definitely not the only solution. Marriages have many aspects to it. It is important to nurture every part of a marriage in order to feel like you are in a valued relationship.