Heart & Mind:  Taking Control

HEALING PRACTICES

  • Share your story -- struggles and successes -- with a support group. No one knows better how you feel than those who have been there.

  • Create some kind of divorce ceremony for yourself. For example, try writing a eulogy for your marriage. Place the written document in a box with other symbolic mementos of the marriage, then bury it in the woods.

  • In addition to psycho-spiritual exercises, intense physical exercises (like Tae-Bo) can offer immense release of anger and frustration (and you get in shape in the process!).

  • After you have honored your anger, try writing a "thank you" note (one that you will not mail). This will help you consider all you have learned from the relationship, retain what was valuable from the experience, and let go of the rest.

  • There are many herbal, holistic preparations that have proven helpful in aiding stress and sadness. A few examples are St. John's Wort and SAM-e for depression, Siberian ginseng if you're feeling depleted, or even a homeopathic Bach flower remedy such as Hyssop for guilt. Check with your doctor first.

  • After a while, try helping others in a similar situation. For example, babysitting for a friend who's going through divorce so she can meet with her attorney, or taking your friend out to dinner so he can talk about his divorce and not have to eat alone.