Focus on the Kids!

Almost everyone knows someone who has experienced their parents getting a divorce. The breakup of a family is always challenging and emotional. It’s tough on everyone and the children often feel that their whole world is coming apart. How to help your children get through this life altering transition is critical to their well being.

The most important thing to remember is to keep communicating with your kids. Although you are hurting, and the pain and stress can be severe, you still need to be the adult and care for your children. Ask each child how he or she is feeling. Explain to your children that none of this trauma is their fault. Assure them that both parents love them and will always be there for them.
After you have arranged the details of the divorce settlement discuss them with your children. Let them know where they will live and how and when they will visit with the other parent.  As far as possible keep everything else in their lives stable. Try to stay in close touch with the entire extended family. Ideally your children should feel that they still have the love and support from all sides. Make an effort to have both parents attend special celebrations for your children, for example, birthday parties, school programs, ball games. This helps them understand that they are top priority with both mom and dad.
Above all, do not use your child as your counselor. Leave him/her out of any problems you are having. If you need help, by all means seek out a therapist, good friend, or close family relative to talk with.