Jonathan West, head of Family and Matrimonal at City law firm Prolegal Limited, examines the stress of going through a separation and gives great pointers for people who are new to this life changing situation. He understands that there are different aspects to life that are going to change dramatically but points out that a regular routine is your best option to moving forward.
The most important advice he has to give to newly separated individuals is to “stay healthy and focused.” It may be the hardest thing to accomplish, especially getting right out of a divorce. It is possible that your emotions overshadow your ability to function properly. However, a normal schedule is the best remedy for overcoming a divorce. Keep your normal sleeping and eating schedule. If you decide you cannot sleep or eat, keep in mind that the normalcy of your schedule will keep that functional environment you had when you were married. Don’t allow your children or your work to suffer because you cannot focus on the present. If the present gets to be overwhelming, take some time for yourself. Sit yourself down and plan for the future. Recognize where you are in the present and where you want to be in the future. Anticipate any challenges that you will face and make plans to overcome them. It is easier to cope with your separation when you are able to sink in your own skin and live as an individual, not as part of a couple. Remember your passions and refocus yourself.
Support for loved ones is essential for you. Don’t be afraid to trust again. Even though your marriage may have ended, there are still people who care about you and your well-being. Look for those family members, friends, and professionals to help you through this healing process and trust that they have your best interests in mind. You cannot blame everything on yourself and expect too much too soon.
Your divorce doesn’t just affect you. It affects the people around you, especially your children. The way you handle yourself through this difficult situation influences how your children will react also. Your children will be just as much affected by your divorce as you well. Be honest with them and help them understand what is happening between you and your ex-spouse. However, it is crucial that you are not criticizing your ex-spouse because he/she is also the parent of your children as well. Do not skew their perception of their parent. Instead, make good memories with your children during the divorce. Take them to their favorite places or new places that they’ve always wanted to experience. The fun that your children will have during your separation will show them that your separation is a minor setback but doesn’t change the normalcy of their lives. Children can be very sensitive and confused during your divorce so make sure you spend as much quality time with them. Let them know that time with them is important to you. Your focus on them will not only be beneficial for them, but also for you. You will be distracted with your children and realize that your family is not broken.
Take these few tips from Mr. West and you will find yourself more at ease during your divorce process. It will give you a sense of clarity and help you refocus your priorities. Don’t let your separation be your downfall. Instead, learn from it and move toward a better future.
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