7 Tips to Make Divorce As Easy As Possible

Laura Wasser, a celebrity divorce attorney, recently wrote a book detailing the ways that you can divorce without it ruining your life or your bank account. Business Insider outlined those tips, and we thought we’d share them below: 1) Tell your spouse in a loving way. This is divorce step one and it could determine the trajectory of a potentially very...

Divorce Coping Basics

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner… What is the number one issue between divorcing couples? I believe that control is the number one issue in any relationship and it becomes particularly clear when that relationship is falling apart, i.e. a divorce. How do control issues affect the divorce process? How you act in the divorce process can ultimately...

Holidays– How To Prepare

Believe it or not, the holidays are right around the corner. Going through a divorce or being a single, divorced or separated parent can make life a little bit trickier this season, especially if that’s not what you’re used to. Author Karen Stewart recently shared these tips we found helpful and we wanted to share them with you. Plan now. It’s...

Game Detects Cheating Spouse

Imagine a world with a game that could detect a cheater. What a world that would be. A recent LinkedIn post we stumbled upon provided this fake scenario: Imagine a game that is essentially a headset that could detect when you see something personal. It would show you pictures of ten kids, one of them being your own. Before your brain could even realize that it...

Common Divorce Questions

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner: I was recently asked to answer a few questions by a reporter who was doing a piece for a publication, and I realized that these are often the types of questions society has about divorce. They are typically asked by folks who like to judge, but haven’t actually experienced divorce themselves. Here are some researched...

Confronting Affair Partners

Well here’s a juicy topic. Many divorces are caused because one spouse is unfaithful. This is one of the hardest pills to swallow for anyone and it can come with a lot of challenging decisions. For example, you may have the opportunity to confront the person your spouse cheated on you with. This is a bad idea. We know you want to tell them off and give...

Divorce Recovery Short Cut

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… Divorce is devastating.  In the beginning, it can leave you feeling lost, alone, confused, depressed and even unlovable.  Then, you start to feel angry and vengeful on top of feeling lost, alone, confused, depressed and unlovable.  After a while you just don’t know which horrible emotion you’re going to...

Online Dating Tips

So much of dating post-divorce is online these days. Technology has made it easier to talk to and flirt with many people at one time. The older you get, the more you feel like you might be the “only” single person around, and online dating can help prove that to be false. But many of us who are recently divorced didn’t date online before we got...

Keep Control of Your Finances

We know that divorce can be extremely pricey, and we are dedicated to educating our clients in the ways they can reduce their divorce costs. Starting over a new life after a separation or divorce is hard enough, and debt is the last thing anyone needs when they try to start new. You should at all times know what your combined expenses are if you’re in a...

Facts About Anger

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn Have you ever noticed that there’s all kinds of conflicting information “out there” about anger?  You’ve probably heard that frequent anger is deadly.  Maybe you’ve heard that anger is an important part of getting through your divorce.  You might think that anger is bad and you shouldn’t express it.  You’ve...

Keys to Trust in a Post-Divorce Relationship

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… You’ve probably heard recommendations from other experts about how long you need to wait after divorce before you start dating.  These other experts recommend that you wait anywhere from just 1 year to 1 year for every 4 years you were married. I disagree with these one-size-fits-all recommendations.  I believe that...

Do You Really Trust Yourself?

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… … Divorce is one of those life events that can cause you to question EVERYTHING. At least that’s what happened for me.  Somehow my change of marital status caused me to wonder if anything about my life was what I thought it was – was any of it real?  How could I know what was real and what wasn’t?  After...

Coping with Anger

Seething anger has a way of eating us up inside. Instead of making things better, it just makes us bitter.  It’s natural to have some angry feelings over a failed marriage and possible a messy divorce, but if you hold on to that anger it can usurp your life and affect your children in a negative manner. Understanding how to deal with your anger so that it...

Divorce Coping Basics

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner… What is the number one issue between divorcing couples? I believe that control is the number one issue in any relationship and it becomes particularly clear when that relationship is falling apart, i.e. a divorce. How do control issues affect the divorce process? How you act in the divorce process can ultimately...

Changing Your Mood Might Be As Easy As Changing Your Shirt

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: One of the most curious things that happened when I was going through my divorce was that I started to wear black almost all the time.  What was so curious about it was that I had always loved color, but for some reason I didn’t understand then, I was drawn to wearing all black for quite a while.  It was really different...

The Smartest Decision You Can Make During A Divorce

As parents, it is essential to develop a partnership that encourages teamwork.  However, when a partnership is shaken, i.e., in a divorce, you undergo an imbalance that requires extra support to keep you grounded.  Unfortunately, as we get older, we teach ourselves to handle everything that is thrown at us and rely less on outside help.  This mentality is...

Marriage The Second Time Around

Lisa Arends, a wellness coach and contributor to Huffington Post, describes her experience with living as a divorcee and as an engaged woman, simultaneously.  Being in limbo between the past and present makes her feel that her identity is a little hazed.  While being divorced from her ex-husband helped mold her into who she is today, there is so much more to...

Dating During Divorce

Many people believe that you should wait until you’re officially no longer married before you start dating. We have discussed dating post-divorce many times on this blog and we wanted to share a new perspective: dating during divorce. We’re not saying you have to go as far as getting pregnant and practically re-engaged while still married (i.e.- Kim...

The Dialogue That Can Lead Straight To Divorce

An important factor to a successful marriage is support.  Support brings husband and wife closer together. It nurtures the feelings of appreciation and love between one another.  By showing your support, your spouse will feel that his/her needs are communicated effectively throughout your marriage.  However, if that support is not present in your marriage,...

Befriend Your Ex?

Sounds like a crazy suggestion, right? Many of us experience extreme feelings of loathing, distrust or disgust for our ex-spouse after a bitter divorce or separation. Life after divorce does not need to be that way, but they sometimes are, unfortunately. The mere thought of someone telling you to “be friends” with your ex can rattle the nerves of...

All Tangled Up?

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: …. Have you ever felt all tangled up on the inside and didn’t know which direction to turn? Or maybe you’ve felt that you’re stuck in quicksand and it’s taking all your effort to just make it through each day? Or worse, you’ve felt that you’re wearing a choke-chain of all your responsibilities and don’t...

Life Lessons for Divorce

It takes more than a little bit of patience to survive a difficult divorce. In fact, divorce can be one of the most challenging things you deal with throughout your life, and even the strongest people find it completely exhausting. The gossip, money issues, bitter ex, angry children… there is little anyone can do to prepare for a divorce or separation....

Emotionally Unavailable

The process of getting a legal separation or a divorce is challenging.  What is even more challenging is being emotionally unavailable for your ex-spouse.   Oftentimes, tangible items that remind us of our ex-spouses are thrown away, but how many of those memories are actually thrown away from your thoughts?  It is difficult to move on with your life if...

Divorce Is Not a Failure

It’s easy to think of divorce as failure in your life. You made the lifelong commitment and you weren’t able to stick to, so you failed… right? We do learn our most important life lessons from the big mistakes. However, for someone reason we forget to see divorce as a stepping stone to something better (like we would with an ended career,...

Managing Your Divorce

A divorce or separation is traumatic. There is no denying that it is one of the most difficult things you may ever go through, and your friends and family members may suffer as well. But, there are ways to limit the stress and disastrous effects of divorce. Author Leo Averbach offers the following tips we think are useful to keep yourself in check during the...

Divorce Advice for Women and Children

Divorce is a difficult experience to go through, especially for women and children.  A sensitive issue like divorce is a lot to handle for women and children, who are emotionally inclined.  Some advice from Legal-yogi.com can be a helpful resource to ease the sudden instability of your marriage. One crucial piece of advice is to find a trustworthy divorce...

Your Friend’s Divorcing, Will That Affect Your Marriage?

California Divorce News: Have you every known “the perfect couple?” I’m talking about the couple that always seems happy, seems to have it all together and makes every other couple around them jealous? Well if the that couple divorces, it sends everyone in a whirlwind. If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about. People start...

Is Your Next Marriage Destined for Divorce?

California Family Law Article: Divorce statistics from Divorcesource.com show that an increasing number of remarriages end up in divorce.  A first marriage has a 40%-50% divorce rate whereas a second marriage divorce rate rises to 60%-67% and a third marriage increases to a 70%-73% divorce rate.  Remember, these are only statistics of a cumulative whole and...

Handling Divorce

Jonathan West, head of Family and Matrimonal at City law firm Prolegal Limited, examines the stress of going through a separation and gives great pointers for people who are new to this life changing situation.  He understands that there are different aspects to life that are going to change dramatically but points out that a regular routine is your best option...

Divorce Party

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… ….. We do a lot of celebrating to commemorate important milestones in life.  We celebrate births with birthdays.  We celebrate completion of educational milestones with graduations.  We celebrate marriages with weddings and showers and engagement parties.  We even celebrate a person’s life after their gone...

Parenting: Plans for Divorce

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner: ……… What is a “parenting plan” during a divorce? A parenting plan contains the decisions about who is going to have the children on which dates and at what time. Children need to know when they will get to see their Mom and when they will get to spend time with Dad. In addition, parents will...

The Rust of Life and Divorce

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn ….. Last week, one of my dear friends sent me a message.  He sends messages just about every day to his friends to inspire and comfort.  Jon’s one of those guys with a really big heart who knows how to make sure his friends really feel how much he cares for them. This one message he sent to me last week really got...

Letting Go

Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining, but do you ever see yourself carrying those emotions after the divorce finalizes? From sadness to anger to frustration, you begin to question the integrity of your marriage.  More importantly, you need to start questioning yourself.  Explore what role you played in your marriage and how you contributed to...

Flexibility: It’s About More Than Just Muscles

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: ……. Life changes a lot when you separate and divorce. Things that used to be a regular part of life just aren’t anymore. And when things change in unexpected ways, we can get scared, frustrated and angry. When clients begin working with me, they’re usually experiencing some combination of fear,...

Back to the Nest Post-Divorce

January is a common month for divorce. The new year leads people to start taking control of their life and their happiness, and that results in divorce for many couples. Young adults that split often run home to Mom and Dad for a period of time. It’s actually estimated that a third of homeowners are welcoming their adult children back into their home....

Small, Simple Things Can Make a BIG Difference

On Wednesday last week, I had a busy day planned.  I had a breakfast meeting in one part of town immediately followed by a one-on-one meeting and a luncheon in a completely different part of town.  Then I needed to head back to my office for a call with my coach and to get some other tasks done before heading out for my dinner plans. My day got even busier...

Men: How to Fail at Dating Post-Divorce

Dating is a challenge. “Back in the day” it was tough just to find the right girl at the party to talk to and say the right thing to start a conversation. The college days of dating were hard enough, but unfortunately it’s even harder later in life… especially after you’ve already been married once. Many divorcees feel clueless...

Cutting the Cords After Divorce

An attorney may be able to cut all legal ties to your spouse, but no one can cut the emotional ties for you. Getting over your ex husband or wife can be an enormous challenge. Your ex may already have moved on completely, but that doesn’t mean you have. Author and relationship coach Virginia Clark recently shared her thoughts on moving past a relationship...

Divorce is Not the End of Your Relationship

A dissolution of marriage does not end the relationship between you and your former spouse. Rather, it begins a new, and often painful process of restructuring your relationship. working together, you can create a new relationship as friends and Co-parents of your children. This process, however, requires time. You should be aware of the various stages which may...

Making Changes

Divorce is all about change — some negative, and some positive. How you look and feel physically can have a considerable impact on your emotional state; here’s how to use a healthy diet, exercise, and maybe even cosmetic surgery to make a change for the better. Except for the death of a spouse or child, divorce produces more stress than any other...

Discovering Your Single Identity

After a breakup, you have the opportunity and freedom to become who you wish to become. You should use this opportunity, no matter how negative its origins, to resurrect your identity and exercise freedom of choice. Seize the chance to create and learn, and use your experiences as a means of building something new. If you consider it in the most basic of terms,...

Creating a Satisfying Life

Contrary to what you might believe, personal happiness is not dependent on life dealing you a good hand. How you respond to what comes your way will largely determine whether your life is fulfilling or not; here’s how to move from dissatisfaction to real satisfaction. The breakdown of a marriage is one of the most traumatic things that can happen in your...

Divorce as Friends

…and maybe even save your marriage.  Editor’s Note: This article is not geared towards those in abusive relationships; being nicer to your abuser is unlikely to have a positive result. What you can do, however, is to take responsibility for being in the relationship, and for ending it in a way that is safe and works for both you and your kids (if...

Love, Money and the Blended Family

Statistics say that one in two marriages end in divorce. This sociological earthquake has left the old-style nuclear family in ruins — but what effect is it having on the economics of love? I really hate this, but I end up having to sign checks to pay Colin’s ex-wife’s mortgage,” complains Sara. “We make O.K. money — enough...

The Psychological Stages of Divorce

The Psychological Stages of Divorce

A dissolution of marriage does not end the relationship between you and your former spouse.  Rather, it begins a new, and often painful process of restructuring your relationship. working together, you can create a new relationship as friends and Co-parents of your children. This process, however, requires time. You should be aware of the various stages which...

Focus on Families: Divorce and Adults

Although it may be little comfort if you are currently facing divorce, recent estimates indicate that you have lots of company. More than half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce; the majority involve children. Divorce is one of the most stressful life events a person can experience. This is true regardless of whether you are the person who...

Handling the Holidays

If you’re recently separated or divorced, avoiding the holiday blues can be a challenge. But with a little planning, creativity, and courage, you can cope with — and even enjoy — the holiday season this year. If you’re facing the holiday season alone for the first time, you may be expecting to feel lonely and in pain for the duration....

Stepping Off the Roller Coaster

The divorce roller coaster includes periods of euphoria followed by deep lows. Right now, you may be feeling like an unwilling passenger on a wild ride, but the ride won’t last forever. In the initial stages of divorce, it’s hard to be patient while the world is going about its everyday business as if nothing has happened. Don’t they know...

Healing Practices

Share your story — struggles and successes — with a support group. No one knows better how you feel than those who have been there. Create some kind of divorce ceremony for yourself. For example, try writing a eulogy for your marriage. Place the written document in a box with other symbolic mementos of the marriage, then bury it in the woods. In...

Sex and Divorce

Coping with divorce and the prospect of new sexual relationships can be emotionally challenging, to say the least. Here’s a look at some of the pitfalls and opportunities you’ll encounter as you rebuild your sex life. When it comes to divorce and new relationships, there’s a memorable line from the 1989 Rob Reiner film, When Harry Met Sally....