Think of divorce as a problem to be solved, not a war to be won. This mentality will greatly benefit you long-term. Just like most problems, there are things you can do to minimize the stress and find the solution. These were shared by divorce coach Deborah Moskovitch for HuffPost: 1) Separation counseling: Most couples won’t consider this, they’ll...

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner… What is the number one issue between divorcing couples? I believe that control is the number one issue in any relationship and it becomes particularly clear when that relationship is falling apart, i.e. a divorce. How do control issues affect the divorce process? How you act in the divorce process can ultimately...

Well here’s a juicy topic. Many divorces are caused because one spouse is unfaithful. This is one of the hardest pills to swallow for anyone and it can come with a lot of challenging decisions. For example, you may have the opportunity to confront the person your spouse cheated on you with. This is a bad idea. We know you want to tell them off and give...

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… Divorce is devastating.  In the beginning, it can leave you feeling lost, alone, confused, depressed and even unlovable.  Then, you start to feel angry and vengeful on top of feeling lost, alone, confused, depressed and unlovable.  After a while you just don’t know which horrible emotion you’re going to...

We know that divorce can be extremely pricey, and we are dedicated to educating our clients in the ways they can reduce their divorce costs. Starting over a new life after a separation or divorce is hard enough, and debt is the last thing anyone needs when they try to start new. You should at all times know what your combined expenses are if you’re in a...

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn… … Divorce is one of those life events that can cause you to question EVERYTHING. At least that’s what happened for me.  Somehow my change of marital status caused me to wonder if anything about my life was what I thought it was – was any of it real?  How could I know what was real and what wasn’t?  After...

Seething anger has a way of eating us up inside. Instead of making things better, it just makes us bitter.  It’s natural to have some angry feelings over a failed marriage and possible a messy divorce, but if you hold on to that anger it can usurp your life and affect your children in a negative manner. Understanding how to deal with your anger so that it...

A guest post from Dr. Kristine Turner… What is the number one issue between divorcing couples? I believe that control is the number one issue in any relationship and it becomes particularly clear when that relationship is falling apart, i.e. a divorce. How do control issues affect the divorce process? How you act in the divorce process can ultimately...

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: One of the most curious things that happened when I was going through my divorce was that I started to wear black almost all the time.  What was so curious about it was that I had always loved color, but for some reason I didn’t understand then, I was drawn to wearing all black for quite a while.  It was really different...

As parents, it is essential to develop a partnership that encourages teamwork.  However, when a partnership is shaken, i.e., in a divorce, you undergo an imbalance that requires extra support to keep you grounded.  Unfortunately, as we get older, we teach ourselves to handle everything that is thrown at us and rely less on outside help.  This mentality is...

An important factor to a successful marriage is support.  Support brings husband and wife closer together. It nurtures the feelings of appreciation and love between one another.  By showing your support, your spouse will feel that his/her needs are communicated effectively throughout your marriage.  However, if that support is not present in your marriage,...

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: …. Have you ever felt all tangled up on the inside and didn’t know which direction to turn? Or maybe you’ve felt that you’re stuck in quicksand and it’s taking all your effort to just make it through each day? Or worse, you’ve felt that you’re wearing a choke-chain of all your responsibilities and don’t...

It takes more than a little bit of patience to survive a difficult divorce. In fact, divorce can be one of the most challenging things you deal with throughout your life, and even the strongest people find it completely exhausting. The gossip, money issues, bitter ex, angry children… there is little anyone can do to prepare for a divorce or separation....

The process of getting a legal separation or a divorce is challenging.  What is even more challenging is being emotionally unavailable for your ex-spouse.   Oftentimes, tangible items that remind us of our ex-spouses are thrown away, but how many of those memories are actually thrown away from your thoughts?  It is difficult to move on with your life if...

A divorce or separation is traumatic. There is no denying that it is one of the most difficult things you may ever go through, and your friends and family members may suffer as well. But, there are ways to limit the stress and disastrous effects of divorce. Author Leo Averbach offers the following tips we think are useful to keep yourself in check during the...

Jonathan West, head of Family and Matrimonal at City law firm Prolegal Limited, examines the stress of going through a separation and gives great pointers for people who are new to this life changing situation.  He understands that there are different aspects to life that are going to change dramatically but points out that a regular routine is your best option...

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn ….. Last week, one of my dear friends sent me a message.  He sends messages just about every day to his friends to inspire and comfort.  Jon’s one of those guys with a really big heart who knows how to make sure his friends really feel how much he cares for them. This one message he sent to me last week really got...

Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining, but do you ever see yourself carrying those emotions after the divorce finalizes? From sadness to anger to frustration, you begin to question the integrity of your marriage.  More importantly, you need to start questioning yourself.  Explore what role you played in your marriage and how you contributed to...

A guest post from Dr. Karen Finn: ……. Life changes a lot when you separate and divorce. Things that used to be a regular part of life just aren’t anymore. And when things change in unexpected ways, we can get scared, frustrated and angry. When clients begin working with me, they’re usually experiencing some combination of fear,...

On Wednesday last week, I had a busy day planned.  I had a breakfast meeting in one part of town immediately followed by a one-on-one meeting and a luncheon in a completely different part of town.  Then I needed to head back to my office for a call with my coach and to get some other tasks done before heading out for my dinner plans. My day got even busier...

An attorney may be able to cut all legal ties to your spouse, but no one can cut the emotional ties for you. Getting over your ex husband or wife can be an enormous challenge. Your ex may already have moved on completely, but that doesn’t mean you have. Author and relationship coach Virginia Clark recently shared her thoughts on moving past a relationship...

If you’re recently separated or divorced, avoiding the holiday blues can be a challenge. But with a little planning, creativity, and courage, you can cope with — and even enjoy — the holiday season this year. If you’re facing the holiday season alone for the first time, you may be expecting to feel lonely and in pain for the duration....

The divorce roller coaster includes periods of euphoria followed by deep lows. Right now, you may be feeling like an unwilling passenger on a wild ride, but the ride won’t last forever. In the initial stages of divorce, it’s hard to be patient while the world is going about its everyday business as if nothing has happened. Don’t they know...

Share your story — struggles and successes — with a support group. No one knows better how you feel than those who have been there. Create some kind of divorce ceremony for yourself. For example, try writing a eulogy for your marriage. Place the written document in a box with other symbolic mementos of the marriage, then bury it in the woods. In...

Coping with divorce and the prospect of new sexual relationships can be emotionally challenging, to say the least. Here’s a look at some of the pitfalls and opportunities you’ll encounter as you rebuild your sex life. When it comes to divorce and new relationships, there’s a memorable line from the 1989 Rob Reiner film, When Harry Met Sally....

The following has been reprinted with permission from The Road to Resilience, a brochure put out by The American Psychological Association (APA). Whether going through a divorce, loss of a job, serious illness, or other difficult times, how we respond to these experiences can enable us to more effectively manage these situations. What enables people to deal with...

 Do not criticize your former spouse in front of the child. Do not argue with your former spouse in your children’s presence. Be careful not to argue during exchanges of the child. Don’t discuss adult issues such as finances or the details of divorce case in your child’s presence. You should never use your children to deliver messages, money, or...