- Top 9 Tips For Dealing With Divorce Stress
Divorce brings with it many negative emotions. Some of these emotions can cause stress that will interfere in our ability to function in our every day lives. The biggest favor you can do yourself is to learn how to relax, let go of the stress and just let the "chips fall." Focus more on keeping yourself active, healthy and moving forward instead of staying stuck.
All it takes is being willing to be good to yourself. Recognizing and dealing with stress is an important aspect of living a healthy productive life. Below are some suggestions for ways of handling your stress during the difficult process of divorce.
1. Make sure you pay attention to your emotional needs.
Find a support group to participate in, a therapist to talk with. A little talk therapy can go a long way when you are feeling overwhelmed emotionally.
2. Keep yourself physically fit.
Stay as active as possible by keeping a regular exercise routine. Nothing helps our emotions bounce back better than physical activity. It will help in relieving tense, anger and anxiety.
3. Do things that will nurtue you emotionally and phsycially.
Read a good book, get plenty of rest, take a hot bath, develop a new hobby, eat healthy and nutritious foods, and surround yourself with positive people. Put effort into living...post continued
Top 9 Tips For Dealing With Divorce Stress originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 00:55:35.
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- Do You Think About Divorce all the Time?
Question:
I'm 28 and have been married for 2 years. My wife and I have twin girls that are a little over a year old. Lately I find myself thinking about leaving all the time. I feel trapped and like I will die if I don't get out of this marriage.
My wife is a good person. She is a good mother and when we married I thought she was perfect, the girl I had been waiting for all my life. Now though I feel angry and frustrated. She refuses to work because she wants to stay home with the girls. It just seems that life has turned into the same thing day in and day out. I work, go home and listen to my wife talk about our girls, the broken microwave or whatever else is wrong.
I want to be free! All I can think about is being free of the responsibility. Living on my own without all the worry my wife brings. Is this a phase or do I need to act on my feelings and start life over?
Jared
Answer:
Jared, before you act on your feelings do some thinking about what life will be like after divorce. And, what may be causing the negative feelings you are...post continued
Do You Think About Divorce all the Time? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Friday, February 5th, 2010 at 06:00:56.
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- Jenny Sanford: The Consequences of Ignoring Red Flags
ABC News is reporting that Mark Sanford, Governor of South Carolina refused to promise to be faithful in his wedding vows to Jenny Sanford
You remember Mark Sanford I'm sure. His world rocked when it was discovered that he had spent five days with his Argentine mistress instead of hiking the Appalachian Trail, as reported.
When the Governor's affair was revealed Jenny Sanford released a statement saying, "I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity, dignity and importance of the institution of marriage. I believe that enduring love is primarily a commitment and an act of will, and for a commitment to be successful it must be reciprocal. I remain willing to forgive Mark for his indiscretions and to welcome him back, in time, if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance."
One has to wonder why Jenny Sanford who believes in the "sanctity" of marriage would marry a man who refused to vow faithfulness. Did Jenny do what so many of us do when choosing a mate...over-look a red flag? Was Mark Sanford's refusal to promise faithfulness a blaring indication of what the future would hold for their marriage?
In an interview with Barbara Walters on 20/20 this Friday Jenny talks about Sanford's refusal to promise faithfulnees, "It bothered me to some extent, but ... we were very young, we were in love," I questioned it, but I got past it ... along with other doubts that I had."
It would seem Jenny Sanford made the mistake a lot of us do and that love really is blind. Blind to the point that we can be willing to put our beliefs and standards aside for the sake of being with the one we love.
Have you walked in Jenny's shoes? Did you marry someone regardless of the doubt and red flags? If so, what have you learned about "love" due to the experience?
Jenny Sanford: The Consequences of Ignoring Red Flags originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 at 11:42:08.
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- Is It Ethical to Spy on a Cheating Spouse?
I'm not sure ethics has anything to do with whether or not you should spy on a cheating spouse. If your spouse is cheating, it's my opinion that a person has to do what needs to be done to protect themselves. As long as your motives are not to get revenge on a cheating spouse or to use the information you find to cause problems for the other man/other woman, I see nothing unethical about spying.
Things to Consider Before Spying:
There are things you should take into consideration before you begin your quest to find out if your spouse is cheating. First, are you ready for the conflict that will occur when your spouse finds out you have been spying on him/her? You should expect your spouse to be upset, to accuse you of not trusting them and to deny their own actions in favor of trying to make you feel guilty for spying.
Secondly, certain forms of "spying" are illegal. There are state and federal laws that regulate the use of surveillance equipment, recording devices and Internet software. You should become familiar with your state's laws before you go full steam ahead with any sort of covert spying...post continued
photo courtesy bigstockphoto.com
Is It Ethical to Spy on a Cheating Spouse? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Thursday, January 28th, 2010 at 16:00:19.
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- Why Didn't Elizabeth Edwards Leave Sooner?
So why not just let go of the marriage? For the last three years, that has been the question. Why doesn't Elizabeth Edwards let go of her marriage to a cheating, lying man who has shown in every way that his only concern is himself?
It seems the time has come, Elizabeth is finally letting go. She and her husband, John Edwards have legally separated. The next step...divorce.
"I've had it. I can't do this. I want my life back," her sister, Nancy Anania, tells People in its February 8 issue. "She's got cancer and has young children and totally believes in marriage, but she can only do so much."
This blog post isn't about John Edwards and his affair. Enough has been said about his bad behavior. It is about Elizabeth Edwards and women like her who attempt to save their marriage and family after an affair.
Why didn't Elizabeth let go of the marriage three years ago when she learned her husband had cheated? It is simple; she was emotionally invested in her relationship with her husband. She loved him and at that time I'm sure all she wanted was her "life back" and to move on in her marriage.
I have to chuckle when I hear women say, "if my husband cheats the marriage is over." None of us know how we would respond to a cheating spouse until we are in Elizabeth's situation. And, once the shoe is on the other foot many of these same women learn that walking away isn't easy.
Many experts are of the opinion that women like Elizabeth Edwards stay because of the image and lifestyle that comes with a marriage to someone like John Edwards.
Some women use their husband's admission of an affair as a way to leverage change in the marriage, says relationship expert Jonathan Alpert. "Long-standing issues can finally be addressed, and this is done on her terms," he says. "Often the man will come back with his tail between his legs willing to do anything to restore the relationship. And some women look beyond the infidelity at the family and the impact leaving may have on it."
No one mentions love and the emotions involved when faced with infidelity. Love for a spouse does not dissolve into thin air just because your spouse cheats. Say what you will, the one thing that keeps women like Elizabeth Edwards holding on is the love they have for their husband.
Thirty-two years of loving John Edwards, building a family, life and career around him isn't easy to let go of. And, you can bet she invested all the energy she did into her marriage and him because her heart was in it, not because of the image or lifestyle.
Because of that, I don't think that the announcement that Elizabeth and John Edwards have separated should be an excuse to rehash his history. Instead, we should take a moment to express our sympathy to a woman who finally couldn't take anymore. One who is in emotional pain and taking the first steps toward rebuilding her life after giving her marriage all she had to give.
I wish you well Elizabeth.
Why Didn't Elizabeth Edwards Leave Sooner? originally appeared on About.com Divorce Support on Thursday, January 28th, 2010 at 13:24:27.
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