Letting Go

Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining, but do you ever see yourself carrying those emotions after the divorce finalizes? From sadness to anger to frustration, you begin to question the integrity of your marriage.  More importantly, you need to start questioning yourself.  Explore what role you played in your marriage and how you contributed to the dynamic of your relationship.  Be truly honest with yourself about what your marriage was.  Are your feelings of resentment a result of a marriage you had or the disappointment for the marriage you imagined?  By embracing your frustration, you have a better understanding about what you want out of a marriage and what you can bring to your relationship.  By understanding your role in the demise of your marriage, it will ultimately help you let go of the past and make space for the future.

If letting go is a struggle for you, remember that there is life after divorce.  Clear your mind from any negative thoughts because that will affect the way you physically feel.  Grieving has no end time so it is better to start feeling happy and a productive member of society.  Don’t waste time with regret because there is nothing you can do about the past.  Instead, look ahead because there is something you can change about the future.  Don’t be afraid to be alone.  Find support in your family and friends to do self-exploration in a safe and comfortable way for you.  It is important to ask for help – for emotional support, professional guidance, and ongoing inspiration.  With that type of support to rely on, it is easier to focus on your strengths to move in a positive direction.  When you do that, you unknowingly start to find yourself again.  Not the you that was a part of a couple, but 100% you as a whole.  When you find your authentic self, you can ultimately be happy.

Moving on is a challenge, but once you have accepted the divorce, make a plan for yourself.  Make time for yourself.  If you have children, make sure they are emotionally healing with you.  Divorce can create emotional wounds for children also.  Involve them the transition because if they know there are things they can do to help, they will feel empowered.  When both you and your children find a sense of ownership of your lives, it is easier to protect yourselves from the future.