Life After Divorce For Men

Fathers, and mainly men in general, are underestimated when it comes to family and divorce.  In Love Counselor’s article, “Life After Divorce For Men,” men are advocated as equally important role models as mothers in an event of a divorce.  It seems as though men tend to get the short end of the straw when it comes to the court’s decision on divorce.  Women are usually sympathized with on the grounds of financial and emotional instability.  Because of this, women are more likely to gain child custody whereas men are subjected to paying for alimony. 

There is no denying the intimate relationship between mothers and children.  It is a kinder relationship with sensitivity and tenderness.  Children use their mothers for comfort and protection.  On the other hand, fathers don’t have that same type of relationship.  Instead, they are faced with financial challenges.  They are frequently the ones who are forced to move out and find new accommodation.  The balance of power between mother and father is uneven.  Mothers are given the advantage of child custody.  This alone allows mothers to twist impressions of their father and create bitterness, which ultimately ends in psychological problems.  Certain misunderstandings about fathers and men create myths that act as a disadvantage during a divorce.

One myth about men is that they are emotionally tough.  While this may be true on a case to case basis, men are generally as emotional as women.  The relationship between men and women has conditioned men into being more discreet about their feelings.  The discretion of their feelings leads to their role in society.  They are looked to as protection and support.  If they were to break down in front of their family, the sense of security has been broken.  The sense of insecurity and panic will soon develop if the rock of the family cannot hold himself together.  Men are just as sensitive as women and they hurt just as much as women do.  Marriages that end in favor of the woman can hurt a man just as much.  It has been observed that men obtain health problems because of his divorce process.  The unpreparedness of overwhelming emotions can lead to chronic depression.

Another myth that gives men a disadvantage in court is that single fathers are not as good as single mothers.  In fact, fathers tend to play the main role model for children, especially younger boys.  Teenagers brought up in a divorced family without a father actually have more behavioral and psychological problems.  That is not to say that you cannot live without either mom or dad.  For a healthy childhood, children should accept the love and support of both mother and father equally.  Mothers are powerful emotional security blankets and fathers are powerful disciplinarians.  Fathers further provide his children with guidance of worldly matters that mothers oftentimes lack.

Men have more challenges to face when it comes to getting a divorce.  No matter how focused we are on equality, there are different roles that men and women play that favorite women over men.  We have to understand that men are just as vulnerable and just as great a parent than mothers.