Is Your Next Marriage Destined for Divorce?

California Family Law Article: Divorce statistics from show that an increasing number of remarriages end up in divorce.  A first marriage has a 40%-50% divorce rate whereas a second marriage divorce rate rises to 60%-67% and a third marriage increases to a 70%-73% divorce rate.  Remember, these are only statistics of a cumulative whole and does not represent your divorce situation.  Whether this is your first or fourth time getting hitched, you are not bound to get divorced if you set yourself up for a lasting marriage with an understanding of what happened in your past relationships or marriages.

Jim Duzak, the Family Law “Attorney at Love,” points out some of the most common reasons divorcees continue remarry and re-divorce.  The biggest mistake you can do is think that you had no fault in the downfall of your previous marriage.  In order to move on to a successful marriage, you have to understand the role you played in your break up.  Do not blame everything that your ex did or did not do in your relationship.  Take responsibility of your actions and know that a marriage requires effort from both parties.  Another warning that will be harmful to a new marriage is living in a fantasy.  While optimism is a good thing to have, do not use your optimism in excess.  When it comes to relationships, you cannot fall in love too quickly or label your next partner your prince charming or queen.  There is no denying that your next partner is going to be flawed.  If you set unattainable expectations of your partner, there is always going to be struggle in your marriage to be up to par.   If you want to know if you are marrying the right person for the final time, make sure that you aren’t marrying him/her to fix your “psychological wounds.”  Don’t be scared to live alone if being alone will help you heal from the wounds of your previous marriage.

Remarriage is not the solution for loneliness.  In fact, second and third marriages are mostly more difficult than your first marriage because it comes with extra challenges like stepchildren and ex-spouses.  It is advised that you consider remarriage if you do not see yourself using the marriage as a scapegoat to your emotional insecurities.  If that is the case, talk with your partner or a therapist about your insecurities.  You may need more time and space for your own soul searching.