WHOSE DAY IS IT TODAY???
by Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Keeping
track of children’s
residential schedules is
often a source of conflict
between separated parents.
So too is communicating simple
things such as doctor’s
appointments, parent-teachers
meetings and the like. Changes
to children’s residential
schedules and missed appointments
often serve as a flash point
particularly with separated
parents who hold resentment
between each other. As the
anger for mis-communications
on these matters escalates,
the children then become
the emissaries and messengers
between their parents as
they are positioned to deliver
messages back and forth.
The children’s anxiety
raises proportionate to the
temper and anger of the parents.
Their ability to concentrate
on tasks such as schoolwork
is compromised as their concern
turns to their parents’ distress.
Enter the
Internet. Several websites
have emerged offering the
new millennium approach to
help parents keep track of
schedules and to facilitate
their communication. For
a reasonable fee, parents
can subscribe to a service
that stores the residential
schedule, keeps track of
appointments and expenses
and will even send out email
reminders of their children’s
events.
The best
of these programs can even
help parents establish their
schedule and help parents
project out through the years
to see when, according to
their schedule, other events
such as holidays or birthdays
occur. The advantage for
many is that it helps them
plan well in advance and
keeps them on track along
the way. As parents are kept
on track, there are naturally
a few less issues to fight
about.
Some of
these programs offer a slew
of different functions including
file sharing, picture swapping,
expense tracking, contact
lists, reminders and more.
However, parents are advised
to consider their real needs
as the more a service offers,
the more overwhelming the
program can be. For most
users, scheduling, appointment
reminders, mutual communication
and perhaps expense tracking
is all they really require.
Further, some programs require
a fee before service while
others allow a free trial
period. The benefit of the
free trial period is that
it allows the user to get
familiar with the program
before purchase. Those programs
that only offer an example
can be made to appear far
easier to use than may be
the case.
These programs
can be a real service to
just about any separated
parents. However, they likely
are of even greater use with
separated parents prone to
conflict. As well as providing
all of the above-mentioned
features, it helps keeps
distance between parents
who if communicating directly,
may see their own behaviour
degenerate. Further, the
service provides for accountability
because neither parent can
claim not being told about
an event if it has been entered
into the program. An electronic
record dates entries and
events and provides a detailed
history if ever these items
fall to dispute.
Of the
website services available,
I have aligned myself with http://www.jointparents.com.
I was impressed by ease of
use, the 30-day free trial
and the quick response I
received from the company
when I had questions. This
website can be easily contrasted
with the several others available
by searching Google, keywords: joint
parents calendar.
Having
trouble keeping track of
your children’s residential
schedule? Then let an Internet
based program lend a hand.
Gary
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW is a
social worker. Courts in
Ontario, Canada, consider
him an expert on child development,
parent-child relations, marital
and family therapy, custody
and access recommendations,
social work and an expert
for the purpose of giving
a critique on a Section 112
(social work) report. You
can contact Gary at (905)
628-4847, gary@yoursocialworker.com or www.yoursocialworker.com
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